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  • Don’t let this be the last memory of me {Failed Moment}

    Fighting the good fight
    or even the questionable fight
    Seems we’ll never be able to let it go
    I am so afraid of not knowing
    The last moment that I have
    Leaving you and leaving me
    I know that we can only wish
    To leave something greater
    Really that’s all we ever want
    To be more than the sum of our parts
    I’d be happy [...]

    Chasing the Failed Ghosts of the Past

    So as we approach the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010…. Are we just recycling the excitement of the assumption of a better year in the hopes that we will begin again and repeat the cycle over again?  Like a Mobius Strip are we entering the same path over and over?  I am [...]

    Maybe a little {hoffen} is what I need.

    Maybe this is cheesy, but I just pulled the definition of hope from http://m-w-com.
    Here it is:

    Main Entry: 1hope
    Pronunciation: \hōp\
    Function: verb
    Inflected Form(s): hoped; hop·ing
    Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hopian; akin to Middle High German hoffen to hope
    Date: before 12th century
    intransitive verb
    1 : to cherish a desire with anticipation <hopes for a promotion>
    2 archaic : trust
    transitive [...]

    Corn Starching the Plot

    OK, so I think I know what direction I need to head. Until all hope is crushed, I will pursue until I finally accept that I am just not a very good artist.  But I am thinking of a “looking box”  using a peeping hole (like on doors) I will have a painting inside that [...]

    Parenthetical “Quotes” from Non-Existant People.

    “What is my point?”

    “Perception is 9/10ths of the flaw.”

    Well ok, that really doesn’t have anything to do with anything.  I want to have a purpose to my work, a goal.  Maybe if I created work when I can’t motivate myself to work for the sole purpose of fundraising?  Now, I don’t know how this [...]

    More Often, Then Not

    I am overly convinced that more often than not, people are unable to look outside themselves in order to find some level of connection. When it comes down to it, we are shadows in a cave, only seeing pale reflections of who we really are and who the people around us really are.

    Self Portrait Series (so far)

    Title: Me and this Army

    Title: Les Dexik

    Title: You’ll Have to Face It Some Day

    Title: You’ll Have to Face It Some Day

    Technique involves writing in pen on the gesso’d canvas before painting. The narritive comes through the paint and rises to the surface.

    What is my truth?

    Who am I really? Can I answer even the simplest questions about preference and who I am? Will I stand for something only if those around me are standing as well?
    Having said that, how can my art/music be anything but a lie, as long as I am not true to my self? The times I [...]


    I realize that my life is more than the sum of my fears, but I know that my motivation is based on my fears. I fear failure, I fear truth, I fear myself… I have a group show at Springer Cultural Center in Champaign, IL and it should be the highlight of my painting career. [...]

    Jam 10, double digits

    Well after some time of trying to get myself in the studio… I have put together something. Not much, but here goes…. JAM 10