“What is my point?”
“Perception is 9/10ths of the flaw.”
Well ok, that really doesn’t have anything to do with anything. I want to have a purpose to my work, a goal. Maybe if I created work when I can’t motivate myself to work for the sole purpose of fundraising? Now, I don’t know how this is going to work, but why not? Since it feels like my energy is directed toward fundraising anyway, maybe I should take that forward momentum and make it work.
I have to admit though this whole thing makes me sick to my stomach. I finally feel motivated by something and I have to say that it makes a difference, but I wish that I could be selfish and take back that energy and let go of this need to give up on myself and push the energy as far away from myself as possible. Maybe a put together a song that people can listen to and if they like it they donate $5 to my Marathon run.